MADCHEESE

Write,learn,play,rehearse,record,listen,constructivly criticise,discuss changes,cover,rehearse new version,re-record.

Current Location: Warren, AR
Current Music: Metal,blues.

I came out to Arkansas to visit my mom and other relatives, but mainly to be with my sister. My dad was in his death-bed recently from diabetes, they saud he had about a week or less, I wanted to be with my sister to comfort her, and visit my dad that I have not seen or talked to for over 7 years and I have my reasons so don't bitch.
I came out here and met my sisters friend Tonya and as soon as I smet her I swear I got that feeling just like the first and second time I fell in love, wel I loved the small town live so much I decided to move out here and make somekind of change i my life and start over pretty much, nex thing I know Tonya's hitting on me and I start hitting on her and we started going out soon I had to go back to Texas to pick up my stuff to move out here, the night before I left wich is about a week after we'd been dating she says I put the kids to sleep early becuase I wanted to psend time with you before you left, so It turned out she said after that that she wants to give me a going away present...you know what that means and I told her before we went out that I kind of like to take things slow but you kow you cant offer most guy this and expect them to say no and remember I realy really like this girl at this point to I say okay. a week later she asks me to move in and I say okay cause I'm reallystarting to love this girl, not 'IN love but just love you know.
Things were going pretty good for about a little over a month, then two weeks before I started my new job I notice that she hasn't talked to me much lately and no longer sits next to me on the couch anymore. Of course she just started working again after injuring her hand from work, so I tell myself that maybe she's just reall tired cause this job tires the hell out of you. But then it starts to get worse, when we go to bed and I kiss her goodnight and say goodnight she no longer says it back, and next thing I know when I put my arm around her in bed she kinda shrugs over and moves to the edge of the bed and wont let me near her, so I finally am feeling realy depressed at this point and decide to do something and that's when everything turns to shit.
Okay this is exactly what went down because so far she’s been telling people something that’s not true.
First she started ignoring me, she wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me for that matter, I started getting worried and got really depressed too.
So I wrote her a letter to figure out what was going on because she obviously wan’t gonna talk to me and when I tried to give her the letter she blew me off and said she’d read it after she got out of the bath, well from that point I knew it was over.
She read the letter and said tha she didn’t want to be with me because I’m not who she thought I’d be, she hates the way I dress and doesn’t like the fact that I’m not Domineering at all and that I goof off too much in public and that makes her kids goof off in public too.
Then she said that she likes mexican men and I’m not really mexican that I’m more white...which my sister had told her that a long time before she met me, how I like to goof off and do stupid things And that I’m white...Witch on the first day she met me I myself told her that I am white, I may have mexican,indian,white, and spaniard blood I am white.
I may have mexican blood but I’m no where near mexican at all, you can tell just by listening to the way I talk.
Anyways, we were on good terms and she kept saying that I didn’t have to move out or anything and that I could help with the third of the bills, and I was saying okay but I’m still trying to get over her and she obviously has been over me and is still in love with her ex Silvio...who is also coming back to town but not back to her.
Then I go to my moms house that friday and spend the night till sunday and I come back home and go to sleep and then to work, I go to work till wednesday and on that day I said drop me off at my moms house and I’ll get them to drop me off and give her ten for gas the rest of this week, she said cool.
Well while there I decide I can’t stay with her because, A)I’m still getting over her, and B)I can’t sleep anymore at the house cause I keep waking up every other hour. So I tell my sister to take me over there to get my stuff and when we get there I say hi and go to get my stuff out of the closet and as I’m doing that I’m about to call her to tell her that I need to leave and just before I call out to her she asks Becca "what’s he doing?" and Becca tells her I’m getting my clothes cause I’m moving out, so now she’s pissed and won’t talk to me and says I didn’t even have the balls to tell her myself, so I go to wait by the car while they talk and next thing I know I hear yelling. They both come out all pissed off and yelling at eachother and I’m even getting yelled at by Tonya so I’m freaked out now and totally confused, she yells out that I’m never to set foot in her house again and slams the door.
I go home and get my mom to get the van to pick up my stuff and Becca texts ahead to Tonya to put my stuff out side for me to get.
I get there and it’s pretty much all outside and I get it all, then I remember that my guitars are still inside and I knock on the door and I tell her I need my guitars and gives them to me and says,"I’d appreciate it if you no longer sit next to me at work!" So I say screw this I’m quitting this stupid job, I’m not playing this game. that pissed her off even more because I made her look bad so she tells me to fuck off, fastforward to this weekend, my sister talls her Friday that we need to pick up our stuff so Tonya says I’ll put it outside in a bag, and Becca tells her no cause it’s supposed to rain and she ca’t drive yet because of her surgery, so we tell her we’ll pick it up on Saturday and she asked what time so she’s not home, we say one and I get her movie that she accidentally put with mine and put in a letter and $100 dollars, but when I get ther the bag of clothes movies and some electronics is completely soaked and stinks like it’s been there for days in the rain, so I get my stuff and Becca is totally pissed that I still left the money there but I told her Tonya needs it and I owe her money anyways, but then she calls Tonya and complains about what she did and leaves a pissed message and Tonya responds "take me to court" so Now I’m pissed and I say "fuck this, go back cause I want my money, she ruined my shit."
Now I hear people saying that she’s telling them that I used her for a free place to stay.
I didn’t want to break up dude, I was just starting to love her and it turned all to shit in a matter of days.
Becca kept threatening to get her back and I told her no that we’re not playing this stupid ass game, I’m not gonna play along with this Highschool bullshit, I don’t care for it and it’s not me.
She’s acting immature and I don’t need the hastle, I don’t play these games. If she wants to be an bitch and be pissed off and make up lies I don’t care, but when people asked me what happened I’m telling the truth and nothing more you know.

Current Location: Dallas TX
Current Music: Metal,blues,rock

Current Location: Dallas TX
Current Music: Metal,blues,rock

Current Mood: high

I was thinking the other day, and I told my friends about it.
I think the government is actually the biggest mob.
they controll everything, if you think about it...taxes...9/11...bush...the smurfs...okay not the smurfs I'm just messing with you.
But c'mon, I think they know about the aliens and think we can't take the news...we already know, it wouldn't be a surprise everyone would be like.."I KNEW IT!!!"
I know they are out their...actually I believe that they live among us...Among The Living...okay that was Anthrax and that song is about the book 'The Stand' really awesome if you havent seen the movie(bad acting but good plot and story).
But who knows, all that outer space and nothing cool to sow for it except us...the human race...a bunch of assholes who take over everything and kill the environment, but here's the thing, we wont destroy the earth, we will just piss it off and it will destroy us, the earth will fix itself, it's trying to do it now, and we make it worse all the time, if we lived like my ancestors the indians, the world would be fine.
The earth wont die, it will be like a house of cards, one day it will go, 'this sucks I'm starting over!' and the cards will fall, the human race along with everything else will be extinct and then rebuild itself. that's what it does, you can tell, for every species that becomes extinct, more are being found everyday, like the dinos' they didn't completely vanish, their still around, most unchanged.
Think about it, help fix the world, or become oblivion....oblivion sounds nice.

Current Location: Dallas TX
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Metal,blues,rock

Current Location: Dallas TX
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Metal,blues,rock

It's good to be back in Dallas, I've been gone for three years trying to find myself and do something with my life.
And let me tell you it was the second loneliest three years so far, I cut my hair for a job, found a nice girl who turned out to be with someone else while seeing me so I stopped talking to her.
That was two years ago and since I stopped seeing her I didn't have time to go on dates or have a girlfriend all together, unitil just a couple of months ago. But the thing is I don't meet girls very often and when I do meet a girl I really like...she is a lesbian, but I don't care most of my friends are lesbians anyway so I expect most of their friends to be lesbians.
This is how I had to come back to Dallas: I had just moved in with my Mom and my step-dad and two brothers, I was getting tired of my step-dad getting drunk off his ass and coming into my room to sulk for whatever reason he could come up with. He would cry and cry and cry, and most of the time he would play music all night and sing along and all that crap. I wouldn't mind too much if I didn't have to go to work at 6 in the fucking morning. Anyways, when he gets drunk and sometimes he gets in this mode where if you look at him and don't smile or say something he thinks you wanna fight, and he gives you this look like what's your problem? One night I was trying to enjoy my dreams, I get woken up by the music, my mom is the peace keeper of the family and me I don't like to fight but if I have to I go all out. Well I can hear my mom telling him to shut up and get in bed and go to sleep, but he kept arguing. I kept hearing him call my name and say that my mom wanted to talk to me over and over, so I finally got up put my shoes on without thinking about it, I walked over there to see what she wanted, I get to the room and he looks at me with that look of 'What do want?' and my mom says '"on't worry I got it under control so go back to bed" so I turn around to go to bed and he grabs my arm and I jerk my arm away so I can go to bed cause I'm still pissed that it's four in the morning and I've been up for the past two and a half hours.
He then starts to push and shove me and started to slap me, I just pushed him off ant told him not to touch me, and my mom grabbed me and said to go to my room that she'll take care of it, and she went to tell him to go to bed and calm down and he pushed her and knocked her down on the bed and that was it I got pissed, so I grabbed him around his neck and threw his ass on the ground, my arm still around his neck, he kept fighting and saying he wanted to fight, but I'm trying to get him to calm down and he just wouldn't. My mom kept trying tell me to let him go so we can all go to bed, and I said I would but all he wants to do is fight and I'm not gonna let him.
All I wanted to do was go back to sleep, I knocked him down a couple of more times and busted up his knee so bad he couldn't get back up, had I  actually fought him I would've kicked the shit out of him.
My brothers were crying and my mom was pissed at me for fighting and my step-dad was pissed that I had the nerve to throw him around like I did and while the cops were putting the cuffs on him he told me that I'm no longer welcome in their house and to move out.
So I called a friend out here in Dallas and I left and I've been here ever since.   But It was a good thing it happened cause I almost moved to Arkensas with them, they were about to move in about four more months, and I was about to go with them.  As soon as I moved out here I called a friend I had just met who is the bassist of the local band: The House Harkonnen, I told him I loved the band so much that I would draw their next album cover for free, and I asked him to talk to the guys to see what they thought and if they liked the idea to send their ideas to me so I could draw it out for them. They did and I drew them what they had described and they loved it, right now they are still recording the album and they're almost done and their stuff sounds awesome.
About a year ago when that happened I moved in with my best friend and his girlfriend, I got a crappy job and did the album cover thing, then through a good friend I talked to this guy who is a graphic designer and has his own studio and an award winning graphic designer. 
He gave me an interview and he said he thought that I was god and he wanted me to become an intern and come in on my days off for free, I agreed to it and started two weeks later, for two and a half months I had no days off and came in to learn what I could. After those few months he decided they needed me full time so I quit my job and started to work full time.
My life is finally going in the right direction,  and I'm happy as hell cause I've got so many things to do, so many ideas , and this is just the beginning...I hope I can accomplish  everything before I die.

 Damn this is long isn't it?

Current Location: Dallas TX
Current Mood: ditzy
Current Music: Metal,blues,rock

Current Location: Dallas TX
Current Music: Metal,blues,rock